and yes, too many things happened to me.

But, I guess the most drastic thing that happened to me recently is that I finally can move on from the whole 'abandoned' situation and forgive whoever that brought me to the state that I was in.

Probably I'm back to my old self where I can easily socialise with people without really thinking about whether I can trust them anymore. I'm a lot more cheerful in some ways too.

But, here's the thing. I feel really really incomplete. Despite the crazy amount of work I have, I feel very unsatisfied to the point that I feel pretty mentally tired. I just want to sleep and dream about things that would never happen to me in real life. I'm just wondering whether I'm trying too hard to actually make myself think that I'm happy. I seriously hope not.

I hope I can find some form of solution to this heavy feeling in my heart. Bcos honestly, it's getting annoying. It's bringing me down because I keep thinking of stupid things that I did in the past that I regret. I keep thinking about what's happening around me that I wish I was never part of. I keep thinking of my stupid ass brother who can't seem to act right. Seriously, I've drawn a line between my problems and another person's problems. But, it's because of this stupid heart, I can't simply just leave it. It's so hard. Like really, it's to the point that I want to carve it out and leave it out somewhere to dry first and then put it back in after I'm ready to face it.

Currently, I have an assignment due this coming Monday and Friday. I'm doing quite a lot of reading for Monday assignment. But, I get really distracted with my own thoughts that I can't seem to function well. I think I'm gonna turn in now and wake up at 6 am later to finish my work. Wish me luck people. Hopefully I'll be able to get over it after sleeping and dreaming.

haishhhhhh........ (I seriously need to stop sighing)

janeh~