i've recovered from ytd's horror.
feeling pretty okay. but, of course not to my maximum happiness.
went jogging just now. really tired.
i'm making a bet that i'll lose weight for this week and show my tremendous weight change.
hopefully it'll work.

going hi-tea this wednesday.
im gonna treat my bro my auntie and mum.
it's gonna be a hush-hush thing i guess.

anyway, i feel a lot better after a 12 hrs worth of sleep.
not refreshed but more of "it's another day" feeling.
it's gonna be my birthday in about 2 days time. oh well.
i'm nervous 'cos i don't really want to grow any older.
hah. okay anw, merry christmas everyone.
i'll update on more stuff next time.

janeh~

(finally on a lighter mood)

i really dont understand.
i really dont get it.
i really dont want to hear it. seriously, i'm tired of it.

it's a total disastrous day for me. & really, i just want to run away.
why do we always have this shit all the time.
why do we always need a third party to solve our problems.
these answers. i dont think i'll be able to get it EVER.
it's hard. it's so hard.

i'm crying my heart and lungs out. but, no one can ever hear it.
because people just don't understand the pain at all.
i can't scream i can't cry i can't do anything.
it's beyond help.
you ask me to fight my tears. i tried. i want to. but, i ask why again.
why do i have to fight it all by myself again. AGAIN & AGAIN.
i go to people for their warmth in their hugs. i'm sick of it.
i'm just so sad. really sad.
i want to be there for you. but, i can't. because i have my own set of feelings.
a thousand litre of tears won't help me feel any better.

i'm just sad today. i've had enough.
but, when will it ever stop?
i don't know.

it's almost the end of the 3rd week since i've been here
things do really change quite a lot since i've been away for the past few months
anyway, i played ball earlier today.
really tiring. i was sleeping for almost the whole afternn.
today was the first time i met al ever since i came back
he's been real busy with his gf these days so it's been pretty hard to catch up with him and all
there are so many things that I really want to talk to him about but, it's hard.
he has his own things to do.

so anyway, things have been okay for me. didn't really go out that much 'cos i've been busy with mum and also getting used to life here. I don't know but, I always get this really sad feeling all the time and lately, it's been catching up on me. AND the worst part is I DK WHY !

prolly i'm sad that everyone has to move on and i'm going to turn 17 soon.
ahh man. b'day ? really, i think this year isn't gonna be the best b'day ever. it sucks not having your own bunch of frens around you. i wished that zw and quyen is in singapore so that I can celebrate with them. oh well, mum's asking me to make plans to go to universal studios this sat but, really, i'm pretty indecisive. oh well, i dont know at most i'll just stay home & do nothing.

OH ! and yes, i've gotten my unconditional offer from melb uni for BACHELOR OF ARTS ! YAY ! now that's something to be proud about, oh wait, i seem to be the only one who's really happy about this 'cos it seemed so easy for people but, really, I know how much i worked for it. I think its all about self-satisfying now 'cos no one will get how much I really worked for it. so, congrats to me hopefully my uni years are going to be great.

so, I think that's all i'm gonna update about. hopefully i can find smth useful to fill my time here. & hopefully HE comes back and will be able to talk to me more often. *squeals* HAHA i'm a psycho here.

so janeh ~

it's almost the end of the second week that i've been here.
& it's already less than two months that i'll be here.
time passes real fast.

I've nt even met some of my frens but, that's life isn't it?
life in Singapore is as per normal. there's nothing much to do except to just watch dramas or sitcom. talking about sitcoms, i've been watching big bang theory and SHELDON IS AWESOME. HAHA. seriously ppl, if you've got nth to do. try watching it. at first i wasn't all interested in it but then, my brother told me to watch it and at the end of the day, I was laughing my head off.

so yeah, basically, i got my b'day present frm my bro, a TB muahahahha ! i can download loads of things without any worry about where to store my stuff. & my mum bought me a orange-yellow G-SHOCK which is SUPA AWESOME. it looks a lil like ironman. HAHA.

Watched Tron Legacy yesterday and it was surprisingly pretty good. I thought that it was going to be bad 'cos i saw its ratings on Rotten Tomatoes which was 49%. It was alil underrated I think. It should at least have gotten a 65%-75%. Well, I dk what they're thinking.

So, yeah, other than that, there's nothing much to talk about, really. 'Cos I didn't really go out that much. Now, I don't even know what to do on Christmas. Everyone's reluctant to make plans. So, I'm going to make my own plans really.

Anyway, that's all I can talk about. Till another time.

janeh~

yeap ppl i'm home, finally...
getting the jet lag right now in fact but, i'm totally goooood.
my trip back home in the car wasnt the most fantastic and fun car ride so prolly I'm pretty grumpy about some stuff. Hopefully, this grumpy feeling will go away soon.

anyway, i'm pretty happy that i'm back. dont really know what i'll be doing during this summer vacation but hopefully i'll get a job to take up the time and also get me some cash as well.

alright, i dont have much to say actually 'cos prolly what I say or what I feel right now is not what I really feel cos im not so much in the mood. i'll update again when i have the time to.

janeh~ and yes welcome home (to myself)

p.s doris u're too much of a stalker.