I didn't blog yesterday. I didn't had the mood for a lot of things.

School was as per normal. I came back home pretty early too. I had pretty unsettled feelings lately. And I think it came to me yesterday. I went out with my housemates to KOKO BLACK yesterday night 'cos they said it's nice there. And Jocelyn said it's the place she told me that had very nice choco stuff. So, I thought to get my mind off things, I should go.

I am so glad I have housemates who are older than me. Makes me feel protected in a way. We talked a lot about things. Like how they meet very weird A** people. And I told them a few stories too. The choco stuff there is AWESOME. I had this chocolate moelleux and Iced Mocca.

The chocolate moelleux had this oozing chocolate thing coming out from the mid of the small little cake. And on top of the cake, it had this cookie which tasted like fortune cookie to me. Iced mocca was FANTASTIC. Prolly bcos I liked the bitter taste. It had the coffee element in it but, with the ice cream and the bitterness. It tasted just PERFECT for me. Jacinta allowed me to taste her TIRAMISU and Iced Chocolate. It was nice. But, it was more to the sweeter side. We had a nice chat there and went to safeway.

Everyone was so funny. Its 'cos my room has the glade perfume thing. And they said it smelt nice and even when my door is closed, they can still SMELL it. Well, I don't smell it at all even though I'm in the room. Prolly because I'm used to it. Haha... So, they wanted to search for it at safeway. Unfortunately, they didn't sell it there. Jocelyn bought a spray type under the glade brand too. We went home after that.

Mum called me as soon as she signed in. She kept asking me about my piano and how I was going about it. I just recently received an e-mail from a piano teacher who agreed to take me as a private student. But, he said that he at least expect me to practice an average of an hour per day. I don't know whether I'm for it. I just HATE how my mum tells forth her ideas and expects me to do it. I get very irritated.

It's been hard lately. I don't know is it because the homesickness was getting to me. The feeling of how to fit in every single time gets to me whenever I go to a new class with new people. I get this feeling of envy whenever I see people who can easily make friends or already have their own clique. I try to question myself. Why is it not that easy for me?

I thought through everything yesterday. It's just plainly about me. I couldn't change myself to adapt to the life here. I thought things could just go my way. I thought people would just come to me naturally. I didn't put in any effort to fit in at all. I make my own judgements of people without even knowing them well enough to say anything. I've only been thinking about myself.

So, I've come to the decision that it's time to change how things work for me. I'll try doing things differently now. To be more open to things that is around me. I know no one can help me. But, I believe I am strong enough to adapt well. Besides, I have such wonderful housemates and good friends who I can talk to.

Okay, I think that's it for today. I feel so much better after typing it out actually. I feel that I'm not alone at all because I know that there are people who care about me.

FIGHTING ! ~